My eyes slowly opened this morning as I lay in my lovely comfortable bed. I thought to myself, “I’m still here”.

Last night was my first night at home after the most unforgettable week of my life. I reached across to feel the comfort of my darling daughter lying next to me fast asleep. I pretty much begged her to stay with me last night because the overwhelming feeling of being truly alone was too scary – at least on the first night home.

Exactly one week ago today, I awoke to a normal sunny day feeling great (quite often I feel tired when I wake up early for work), and jumped out of bed ready for the drive to Sydney for my two days of work. It was a particularly pretty drive that morning and when I got to work I commented in the lift to a work colleague about how lovely the drive was today. He also drives the M1 Freeway from the Central Coast to Sydney to the office. I sat down at my desk and logged in to the computer and started to look at the tasks set for me by my job share partner. I was reading through the list when I suddenly felt very strange.

The computer screen seemed to be getting too bright and I was finding it difficult to focus. I felt hot and I moved my chair back from the computer. I felt a strange pulling sensation from my right side and I was finding it hard to stay on my chair. I remember gripping the desk with my fingers but for some reason I was being pulled to the right by what I can only describe as a very powerful magnet. I slid to the floor. I was conscious, thinking straight, I could see the clock on the wall. It was 8.20am.  My instincts were telling me to say something, but no words were coming to my mind. I was trying to sit up but kept falling to the right. I realised I couldn’t move my right leg. Not even the slightest. My right arm was the same. This was wrong. Very wrong. The thought of a stroke was going around in my head. I struggled stupidly for a bit. I felt tired. I closed my eyes, then opened them immediately. No. Don’t sleep. I could go to sleep right now. No. Not good. Stay awake. I looked at the clock. I’d been on the floor for 10 minutes. Nobody could see me because my desk is in a corner and it was early so not everyone had arrived yet. I knew I needed help now. I was able to move enough to be able to see around the corner. I could see Allison at her desk. Still no words came. I don’t even think I tried to make a sound. I watched as she got out of her chair and walked the other way. Keep calm. Keep breathing. I touched my right hand with my left hand. I felt the touch but still couldn’t move it. My hand was cold. Next I saw Ali at his desk. This time the words came. I said his name twice and he saw me. Ali ran over, but also told Evan. Ali sat next to me and held my hand. Next thing Robyn was by my side. By then something had changed. I was able to move my leg and my arm. She talked to me. Asked questions. I was able to answer. The ambulance officer was called. It was about 8.45am.

I lay on the floor on my back with Ali and Robyn by my side for what seemed like a lifetime. I remember joking saying I wouldn’t want to be dying. Little did I know. The ambulance officer arrived at 9.30am. Hmmmm a long time. More people were arriving at work and fought glimpses of me on the floor as they walked passed. The ambulance officer did all the routine tests. By the time he had arrived there was absolutely no sign of any of the symptoms I was describing. After passing every test with 100% I was told I had 2 options. I could go to the hospital for a check up, or I could wait and see if I feel better and just get on with it. I am a “just get on with it” kind of person usually, however I knew what had happened was not a faint. There was mention of a possible “mini stroke”, however as the ambulance man said, there was simply no evidence that that had occurred. I chose to get checked out. That decision was the start of a series of extremely fortunate events for me.

I stood up and was fine. The ambulance arrived with a wheel chair and two lovely female ambulance officers wheeled me out of the building. I remember telling them I didn’t feel 100%. They did a heart monitor test in the back of the ambulance before we left. I could hear them trying to decide which hospital to take me to. North Shore wasn’t an option. Hornsby didn’t have the CT scanner working, Ryde didn’t have the facilities, Westmead was too far away. They made a decision to take me to North Shore. The second fortunate event. We arrived in the ambulance bay and not long after my beautiful friend Melissa arrived. I had only just added her as my next of kin at work the week before and had forgotten to tell her! She managed to get in touch with Sophie at University and Sophie arrived a bit later.

My obs were being taken regularly, I seemed OK. I felt tired. Melissa kept talking to me and asking me questions to see if I was OK. I was OK……for a while. I fell asleep for a while. They left me there for almost 3 hours before I saw a doctor. Melissa had noticed my speech has slowed, I looked very vague and she said she could see a slight droop in my mouth. She asked me what we had for lunch yesterday and I said Louise ate an ambulance for lunch. The doctor miraculously appeared.

I knew what was going on. Sophie had turned away and started to cry. The doctor asked me what I was doing on the computer at work when this happened. In my head I was saying I was reading my ‘to do’ list, however what came out of my mouth was astonishing.

I told the Doctor that I was writing about blood clots!

Where that came from I will never know but I believe there was some kind of divine intervention. I understand my brain was not getting blood and was not functioning. I had difficulty finding the right words. But why did I say those exact words?? I told the doctor exactly what was going on with me. I could have said anything. I wasn’t thinking about blood clots. I thought the stroke part of it was all over and I was only being checked to make sure I was OK. I know very little about a stroke and was naive to the possibility that things could get worse. Much worse.

This is where the story speeds up by 1000. I was wizzed off for an emergency CT Scan. I was calm but knew this wasn’t good. As I lay on the bed after the scan was complete I watched the team of people through the glass window looking at the pictures, on the phone, discussing, moving quickly. I was taken back to a room where I was swarmed by doctors. The scan revealed that at the time of the scan, part of my brain was dying. Once again however, my symptoms had disappeared. I was talking perfectly. It seemed to me at the time I was being given several different options of what to do next. I heard the words Trial, Placebo, Angio something or other etc etc. In the meantime Melissa had phoned my parents and they were on their way.

How do you make a possible life changing decision quickly. The doctor was telling me that there is a 15-20% chance that the procedure they are wanting me to sign for could make me worse. How do you sign off on that. At the time I had no idea that this was a NEW procedure and not a standard procedure in Australia. Melissa asked the perfect question to all the doctors. If this was your partner, daughter, mother, loved one, what would you do? They ALL agreed they would go ahead with it. There was a theatre nurse already preparing me for the operation. She spoke in very straight forward terms. She said this is your best chance and it is what I would do. Sophie cried by my side and said mum you have to do it. We hugged. I signed the paper and Sophie signed under my signature. The bed was rolling out the door almost at the same time. Another fortunate decision.

I was in a room, not like an operating theatre but it was cold. I lay on a bed with a large screen monitor by my side. The intervention radiologist said to me we are just going to have a look while you are awake. If we need to we will put you to sleep and operate. I had another scan of the brain. I hate to think. I saw white lines and dots and my head felt warm. I don’t want to ask about that. I could see the pictures on the screen. This is not good. I was introduced to the anaesthetist. Deep breathing into the mask and I was gone.

I underwent a combination of thrombolysis and mechanical thrombectomy.

I awoke surrounded by unfamiliar faces once again. Although they were the same unfamiliar faces from before. Doctors asking me questions. I remember saying I can see two of everyone. If I focused I could see. The next time I awoke I was in the ICU and my family were told to come in. I was glad to see them, but mostly Sophie. I looked at the ceiling and commented on how crooked the fan was and it needs to be straightened which made everyone laugh because that is such a typical comment from me. They didn’t know what the outcome would be and still the first 72 hours are really important for a full recovery. The nurses in the ICU were fabulous. Firstly, and briefly was Wendy, followed by the beautiful Grace and then the outstanding Alice. These women must have been hand picked for this job. Remarkable, clever, kind and caring. Thank you so much x

I was observed every hour through the day and night so as you can imagine it was tiring. I was moved to the Neuro Ward on the second night. It was good to know I was out of ICU, however the Ward was full of surprises. The sign on the door says “Do Not Let the Patients Out!”- “Wandering Patients”! I met some characters in this place thats for sure. The doctors came to visit regularly and were so happy and amazed by my recovery. I passed all the physical and occupational health tests with 100% . Sheila, the head of the nursing staff in Neurology came to see me and explained the entire medical process, showed me the scans and told me how amazingly successful we were. I didn’t see the radiologists who performed the procedure before leaving the hospital yesterday. They did both call me to talk to me and I now realise the importance of this entire event. I was extremely lucky. I was in the right place at the right time. Later today Kate Creedon the medical reporter from Chanel 9 phoned me and has set up an interview with me here in my home (whispers from the jetty). I am also heading back down to Sydney to talk with the doctor who performed the procedure. Apparently this is a world wide ground breaking procedure and not a standard procedure for stroke victims in Australia. It is this procedure that possibly saved my life or kept me out of a nursing home for the rest of my life, unable to speak or move.

A stroke of luck.

How can I ever thank all the people involved in making this a success story. To my amazing friend Melissa – I can never re pay you and I am sorry I put you through this. I am so so lucky to have you in my life. To my darling, strong, gorgeous girl Sophie who gave me strength all the way. To Ali and Robyn at work for holding my hands and sending me to hospital – thank you. Mum and Dad – I’m so sorry and thank you for being there. To my family and all of my friends whether I have seen you over the last week or not – thank you. To the incredible staff at Royal North Shore Hospital – I remember all of you and you are very special people. The world is so lucky to have you (especially young Andrew!) The decision makers around my bed (Caroline and Methra), and the incredibly talented Dr Brendan Steinfort and team. Thank you thank you thank you  from the bottom of my heart.

Although there is still an ongoing thing with finding a hole in my heart I am so grateful that I am here, I can walk, run and smile and I can find the words xxx